It's not going to help. Not even one bit. Regardless, I'm going to maintain a little list here of the companies who call me at home, unsolicited, or who spam me in other obvious ways.
I've had Comcast voice for 5 months, never really use it. I don't even know the number, so I've never given it to anyone, or signed up for any service using it. I didn't pay the Comcast extortion fee to not go into their list they sell to the charlatans of the world. The price I pay is around 8 spam calls a week.
Without further ado, I present to you the bottom feeders of the world. Here are the companies our world would be a better place without.
Oh my God, just the name. You can feel the lizardy skin. Seriously, this is the name that Lumbergh would have called Initech had he founded it. They called me to ask my opinion on some bullshit for their global opinion poll. I was off the phone before I could hear the Earth shattering topic of the poll. My opinion: Life is short and you, Synovate employees, spend your time making the world a worse place FOR ALL OF US. Do you get calls at home? Go and do something else. And Synovate customers: It occurs to me you may not know the source of the data in those pretty charts Synovate hand you, in the same way you may not know the source of the "meat" in your hotdog. Well, I'll tell you: The data comes from people in their homes at 8:30pm, trying to put their 11 month old son to sleep, and after finally getting him to sleep after two hours, guess who calls to wake him up? Nope, not Grandpa Joe, it's Bob from Synovate to ask me if I use some kind of dish detergent you make. Well guess what, I do now, and it's to make bombs. (Side note: I don't know if detergent can make bombs. Please don't make bombs, I don't make bombs. FBI: I don't make bombs.)
Most people have heard of the disappearing rainforests. Let me present to you the people who don't give a shit: The owners of LocalEdge, Hearst Corporation. These people dropped a massive deadtree "Yellow Pages" (I don't care to know the various types of spambooks) directory on every driveway in the whole Charleston area. Even if you ask them not to. Near as I can tell, they then get some call center in India to call you up and GET YOU TO PAY THEM FOR IT. Wow. Soak that in. Holy crap, these people walk among us. And so thousands of companies must be paying these people to print these books. And so when your grandchild sits on your knee and says "Grandpa, what did you put gifts under before there were Christmas carbon fiber poles?", I hope you, dear tax accountant in Mount Pleasant, treasure that ad you paid the devil to chop down a tree and print in the blood of our planet. I am building a retaliatory slingshot which will propel deadtree books back at the vehicle which tossed them on my driveway, but at 400 feet per second. PS: You are reading this on the Internet. The Internet can be used to advertise your business.
To be continued...
